#No it's far from sad if it seemed that way
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living lies and compromise
(8b spec) (buddie) (879 words) spoilers for 8x08! set a few days after eddie returns from texas and i still managed to make it angsty :) i bet you'll never guess what band i stole the title from
The knock on Buck’s door isn’t entirely unexpected. He doesn’t know what to do with it, though, doesn’t know how to exist in this strange liminal space where Eddie’s back but everything is still different.
A few months ago, Eddie would’ve used his key and walked straight in. A few months ago, Buck would’ve welcomed him with open arms. As it stands, he hesitates. Just for a moment, but—
It’s been a long time since Buck was hesitant with Eddie. He hates it.
He opens the door, and the smile he greets Eddie with feels brittle and fake.
“Hey, man,” Buck says, trying trying trying to make it come out right. He hears it, though—it doesn’t sound the same.
“Hey,” Eddie replies. He hoists a six pack in the air, and if Buck squints he can almost pretend this is exactly what it used to be. That they’re what they used to be.
“Come—come in,” Buck invites. He can’t remember the last time either of them waited for permission like this.
Eddie swallows visibly and steps into the loft for the first time since—god, he’s not actually sure. Right after Halloween, maybe?
“Thanks,” Eddie says. He drops the beer on the counter but makes no move to grab one.
Silence stretches between them. It’s not uncomfortable, necessarily, but it’s also not the kind that falls when everything that needs to be said is out in the open and everything left can wait.
“I thought you’d be happy to see me,” Eddie says finally, achingly quiet.
Buck shakes his head. “I am, of course I’m happy to see you,” he says.
“Please don’t do that.” Eddie’s eyes are wide and sincere, and if Buck’s not careful—
“Eddie,” he says, pleading, “I am, you have no idea.”
“Then why…” He gestures vaguely at the space between them. Why the distance? Why the reticence? Why aren’t they falling together the way they always have?
Buck bites his lip and steps into Eddie’s space to grab a beer for himself. He retreats, but he doesn’t go far.
He pops the cap off and sighs. “You left,” he says simply.
Eddie stumbles back against the counter. “But I came back,” he says. “And I thought you understood.”
Buck offers him a sad little smile. “I did. I do. But—coming back wasn’t the plan.”
“Did you… not want me to?” Eddie asks, small and a tiny bit incredulous.
“No,” Buck says, watching as Eddie’s disbelief turns to hurt. “I didn’t want you to come back. I needed you to.”
A wounded noise escapes Eddie’s lips. “I did,” he says.
“What about next time?” Buck asks. He wishes he didn’t sound so raw and ragged, but it hardly matters when Eddie’s the one listening.
“What?” He breathes, punched out like a cough.
Buck looks over Eddie’s shoulder, out the window and into the vague glow of night in Los Angeles. He takes a swig of his beer.
“I need you, Eddie, I still—the whole time you were gone it felt like—like I was missing a limb. And I can’t—I can’t keep needing you like this, not if I don’t get to keep you,” Buck admits. “So I just… I have to figure out how to stop. But I can’t do that when you’re here.”
“Don’t,” Eddie says desperately. “Please don’t. I’m here, okay? I’m not going anywhere. You have me.”
“I’m not sure I know how to survive believing that again,” Buck replies.
Eddie takes a step forward, close enough now that Buck can feel his breath ghosting across his skin.
“Look at me?” he asks.
Buck’s never been able to deny him much of anything.
“I kept looking for you. I’d see something funny and I’d turn, because I wanted to see your reaction. The front door would open, and I kept thinking you were going to be the one to walk through it. Hell, every time I went to the grocery store I wanted to call you to make sure everything we needed was on the list.”
“Eddie,” Buck breathes.
His hand drifts toward Buck’s shoulder, just like it always seems to, but this time it doesn’t stop. Eddie reaches until his fingers are resting against Buck’s neck and his thumb is slowly sweeping across his jaw.
“You need me?” he asks.
Buck nods.
“Good,” Eddie says in a rush of air. “Because I need you too, okay? So please don’t stop, please don’t pull away. I’m sorry I didn’t ask you to come with me.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t ask you to stay.”
Eddie’s shoulders slump. He takes the last step forward and pulls Buck into a tight hug.
There’s this thing Buck’s been trying not to look at. It’s been growing in size, taking up more and more of his field of vision since the moment Eddie left for Texas. It’s been fuzzy and hard to discern, difficult to ignore but easy to avoid putting a name to. As he melts into Eddie’s arms, though, everything comes into sharp relief.
It’s need. It’s want. It’s love.
And the thing is, Buck knows how this goes. But what the hell? It’ll be a privilege, getting his heart broken by Eddie Diaz.
He clings a little tighter.
#you know when you have something important to do but you decide to write an angsty little spec fic instead? yeah#buddiefic#buddie fic#911fic#911 fic#911#buddie#fic#abbie writes#911 spoilers
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CRAVE | Joel Miller
SUMMARY: there’s only one thing that joel craves, and it isn’t the mental fucking torture of an overly stubborn twenty-something teasing him ‘til he’s blue in the face. and balls.
PAIRING: dbf!joel miller x afab!reader. legal unspecified age gap.
WARNINGS: MINORS DNI, 18+ CONTENT BELOW THE CUT. alcohol consumption. pervy old man joel. reader’s dad (i’ve named him sorrrry) is there before joel gets pervy. some religious themes and also descriptions of religion in a negative light (this is MY experience with christianity, if you do not agree then please don’t read), no explicit smut but descriptions of what joel wants to do to youuuu so: mentions of piv, cock-riding, oral f!receiving, choking if you squint, dirty talk asf, joel being cocky which leads to his cock being sad and alone. reader is cunty. not proof-read ‘cus, once again, i’m a lazy bitch and i don’t have time for that. enjoy. 🫶🏻
An end to craving is an end to suffering.
Today’s last stream of sunlight fulgurates through the branches of your father’s prized Texas Ash, hitting perfectly the dime-sized crucifix situated comfortably between two pert tits sheathed in sheer black cotton.
Joel tries not to stare, but it’s impossible. He’s been watching you all fucking night. Every time you get up, he’s been glued to your ass. Whenever you lean over, Joel can’t seem to pry his eyes away from your cleavage. The more he’s been drinking, the more brazen he’s been with his stolen glances.
When your father rambles about some work-related spiel—and you’re sitting so innocently across the way—he can’t help affixing his eyes to the swell of your breasts. Wondering what it’d be like to touch, and grope, and suck on them.
Your mother was right about him. For all of the years that she knew Joel while your parents were together, she’d always say that he was trouble. A good-for-nothing, splenetic, perverted old-man who was but a bad influence. And you never noticed, never cared. You always thought that he was a great friend, and a stand-up guy.
Until today. Until you saw him scrutinizing your form—in front of your dad—you had a lot more respect for Joel. But now you realize that your mother was right. He is a perv. But—fuck—do you love that.
You’re not sure what you enjoy more—disrespecting your insane Catholic mother, or knowing that Joel is undressing you with his eyes—but you can’t help yourself feeding into his fantasy.
“Daddy?” Your father hums, not entirely bothered by the fact that you’ve just interrupted his conversation. He smiles. “Do you want another beer?”
“Please, hon.” He hands you his empty bottle, mumbling something about how he was going to get himself one and that you don’t need to. But you insist.
The blanket over your thighs is being discarded, hiking your dress up with it. Joel gets a glimpse of your lace panties that he likes to imagine you wore just for him, and shifts uncomfortably in his seat.
Bare, supple skin is on display as you get up from the deck chair. You turn to him with a prurient twinkle in your eye, and ask if he wants a drink too. “Yeah, another won’t hurt. I’m already pretty—“ he hiccups, “pretty far gone, anyway.”
Dad laughs while you saunter to the cooler and make a big show of bending over, completely unaware of the way Joel is trying to conjure up a plan to get you alone tonight. But then…
“Same ‘ere, bud.” He laughs before he’s nodding toward Joel. “Stay the night, if ‘ya wanna. I mean, you’re in no fit state to drive—none of us are—and I got a spare bedroom.”
His nose scrunches up, as if to decline, before you’re turning around with two unopened beers and a small bottle of wine. Your hand wraps around the neck almost romantically, leaving very little to his imagination.
“Yeah, you might as well stay, Miller.” You put down the beers on the table, still holding firmly the Merlot. “I’m stayin’. I got nowhere to be in the mornin’, and dad bought breakfast stuff.”
Two brown eyes are latched to each of yours, and you feel beads of perspiration roll through the valley of your breasts. Despite the evening cooling down, you’re stifling beneath his unyielding gaze.
“Alright, I’ll stay.” Joel concedes. He takes his can and cracks it open, lifting it up to cheers your father. “S’long as you’re makin’ me breakfast, Gary.”
Dad salutes and you smile, sinking into the purple cushion with a satisfied hum. You ogle Joel, biting fiercely the skin of your bottom lip. And it doesn’t go unnoticed.
Joel swigs his beer—letting your dad drunkenly ramble—and doesn’t take his eyes off of you. Wondering how he’s going to make you pay for torturing him like this.
But this hadn’t been your intention when Joel showed up to watch the Cowboys v Browns game this afternoon. In fact, him staying past nine o’clock was completely unintentional and if it weren’t for your dad pumping him full of Coors and Old Milwaukee, he’d be fast asleep at this very moment.
He supposes that he doesn’t mind, being here. Especially because he’s buzzed—still able to speak and think coherently, which is surprising—and gets to spend some rare time with you. Even if it is with your dad.
You watch them converse—the way that friends do—admiring how patient Joel is with him despite him being a little bit too inebriated for his own good. He’s the kind of friend that your old man needs; understanding, forbearing. And it baffles you that they’ve not known one another for longer than seven years, but surmise that they’d definitely be best friends in every other timeline because they just work so well.
But it’s the thought of them being friends—brothers—that urges feelings of unease. Trepidation. Gary’ll have a cow if he finds out the way that his so called buddy has been making googly eyes at his little girl’s titties for the last eight hours.
Joel senses the shift in attitude—you’re not teasing him now—and turns the topic of conversation to you. Dad doesn’t mind, though. Never minds talking to—or about—his kid.
“What made you stay in with us oldies tonight, huh?”
Wine is being swiveled around the glass before you take it back in one swig. A grimace flits over your features, but they both catch it.
“Didn’t feel like hittin’ the bars.” Candidly, you say. It’s refreshing. “Can’t be dealin’ with pervy old men tryna touch me.”
Less refreshing.
Joel’s blood runs cold, and you smirk. He swallows thickly the liquid acrimony bubbling from the chasms of his throat. He wants to screw that stupid grin off of your face—stuff his cock straight between those plush lips and throat fuck you ‘til you’re crying and gasping for air.
He just nods instead of saying anything.
“I’ll kill anyone that touches you.” Dad says, not sensing Joel’s sudden frigid state. “Seriously. ‘Specially if it’s an old fuckin’ degenerate asshole—“
“Alright, Gary.” You halt the hate train, pouring the last few dregs of wine into your glass. “No need to get all protective. No old coot is comin’ anywhere near me.”
You look directly at Joel when you say; “old men can’t do what guys my age can, anyway.”
Dad grimaces. Joel scoffs. You can’t help smiling, feeling very proud of yourself.
“Y’know, you’re still my kid? And hearing this shit is nasty.” Your father tells you around a burp, and realizes that this might be the time to call it a night.
He’s never been able to handle his alcohol, especially after being married to your psychotic beer-loathing, hymn-signing, prayer-group-leading, holier-than-though moronic fucking mother.
He lets himself get too drunk too fast, now. Ever since she went back to Kansas—which was totally code for I fucked the priest and got extradited from the church—he’s really let his hair down, and you’d be lying if you said this version of your old man wasn’t the very best. Because he’s living his life the way that he wants to, now.
It’s nice.
“It might be nasty, but ‘least you don’t have to worry about me bringing home a man your age. Or even worse; older.”
Gary gets to his feet—knees clicking and cracking as he does so—and nods. “‘Spose that’s true, kid.”
Joel. Is. So. Fucking. Pissed.
As you say your goodnights—and put on a few lights so that your dad doesn’t trip over his own feet—Joel is mentally counting down the minutes until he gets you alone on this damn patio. He’s determined to make you regret the few little comments that you’ve made tonight.
“Don’t stay up too late. Y’know how cranky ‘ya get with no sleep.” Dad reminds you. “You too, Miller.”
You hum your response, lifting your empty glass and indicating that you’ll be retiring to your room soon, too.
“Night dad.”
“Night, pumpkin.” He turns to Joel. “Make sure she ain’t up too late.”
He nods and shifts his gaze to you, eyes darkening. “Yessir. I’ll put her to sleep.”
Your father grunts and slides the patio door to close. Leaving his daughter and best friend alone together might be the biggest mistake that he’s ever going to make.
Joel watches him intently behind the glass door, heeding him stumble across the tile. He might be about to rearrange your guts, but he at least wants to be courteous.
Your legs squeeze together, for the only sound you hear is the reverberation of Joel’s I’ll put her to sleep in that sexy, beer-slick tone.
He sees it.
“She makin’ ‘ya squirm?”
You blink at him. “I beg your pardon?”
“Your pussy.” Joel—as candid as ever—elaborates. “Is she flutterin’ ‘cus ‘a me?”
The fallout of a chemical bomb would be much more appealing than having to look Joel in the eye after such a lewd statement.
“Don’t worry if so. I have that effect on the ladies.”
“Makin’ yourself sound like a slut, Miller.” Coolly, you respond. Your hand is reaching for a can of beer, twining fingertips around the base while another pulls the tab.
Two eyes screw shut when a spritz of alcohol is flushing over your face, neck and chest. Droplets of Bud trickle between those perfect tits that Joel’s eyes have almost burned fucking holes into; forcing even the horniest man on planet earth to render himself utterly speechless.
You trail a finger through the valley of your breasts, collecting the sticky liquid before you’re putting it straight into your mouth; sucking it clean. Your eyes are locked on Joel’s.
“What? Cat got your tongue?”
Slowly, he shakes his head. The sight before him is truly one to behold; his friend’s sweet daughter with her fingers between her tits out in the patio. Nobody’d ever believe him if he told them this. Joel probably wouldn’t even fucking believe himself.
“You’d like that, wouldn’t ’ya?” Is what he says in response. He’s quick witted, you’ll give him that. “My tongue stuck in your pretty little pussy—“
Heat flashes over you.
“You’re fucking vile.”
“Ain’t that the way it’s meant’a be?” He lurches forward, and your eyes travel to the small opening of his shirt’s midsection that highlights perfectly the fact that he hasn’t a base layer beneath the flannel.
You see a small patch of hair; brown, and gray and seems a little fuzzy. It’s a sudden reminder that this man is a smidge too old for you. But you can’t find it in yourself to care very much.
“Don’t think so.” Trying to out-douche him, you respond. Joel’s thick fingers are twined together, hands resting over the peaks of his knees. “Think youre meant’a have some kinda respect for me. Y’know, as my dad’s buddy, ‘n all.”
Joel snorts a laugh.
“I’d have respect for ‘ya, but the way that peachy fuckin’ ass was in the air when ‘ya bent over the cooler tells me that daddy’s ’lil girl is more of a slut than me.”
Your jaw rolls. Reaction: gauged.
He inches nearer to you; slimy grin plastered across rough, rugged features. “Only pullin’ your leg, hon. I know you’re no slut. Too much of a prissy bitch—“
“Oh, really?” Irked, you spit.
Joel nods. Pushing at your buttons has never been much of a difficult feat. It’s something that he quite enjoys, actually.
“Mhm, yeah.” The man is leaning backwards in his chair, now. Arms folded behind his head; hands pressed against his dark curls. “Gonna have to prove that you ain’t like your mama.”
Your blood boils. And then it runs cold.
“Don’t gotta prove shit to you.” You defend. Very defensively.
“No, that’s right. Don’t gotta do nothin’, kiddo.”
You see the outline of his dick as it stiffens within the confines of his dark, navy-denim jeans. He’s actually getting off on this.
“Unless you want to—“
“Nah, I’m good.” You’re leaning back, now, lifting your legs to sit criss cross applesauce. The barely-covering-your-crotch sheer fabric of your thong catches his eye; a glint of something wicked flickers through them as he clears his throat.
If you’re playing the long game, then so is he. He can out-stubborn anybody.
“So I’ve heard.” He jabs, insinuating that you’re a prude. Again. “Can prove ‘em all wrong, if ‘ya wanna.”
It’s killing him, this. It’s torture. But he’s strong. Ish.
You shake your head, reaching for your almost-empty can of beer. You’re taking another long pull, making a dramatic show of tilting your head back and puffing out your chest as you do so. His lips purse.
“I’m good.” You tell him again with a syrupy smile. “Rather we just talk. Y’know—be civilized, ‘n all.”
His arms are moving to the sides of his deck chair, now. Joel’s tongue runs along his bottom lip. He gives a quick bob of his head.
“Yeah, we can talk.” His eyes zone in on your pussy; the engorged wet patch situated on the part of fabric that kind-of clothes your cunt. His mouth waters. “But what’ll we talk about, baby girl?”
Another surge of pleasure oozes out from between your thighs, turning what was once a purple thong into a jet-black one. Joel doesn’t mind, though. The sight is sweet; it’s prurient, in some sick way.
“Hm.” You pretend to think, all the while spreading your legs a little bit more. He sees perfectly the outline of your folds as fabric hugs and highlights the inner workings of your beautiful anatomy. “Why don’t we start with what you’re thinkin’ about, Mr. Miller?”
A weakness of his, that is. You referring to him as Mr. Miller has always gotten him hot. It’s innocent, almost. It’s like that’d been engrained into your brain by the god-fearing fruit-loop that brought you up, and you can’t quit saying it in these situations.
“Oh, doll. Not sure you’ll wanna hear what I’m thinkin’ of.” His tone is rough, now. Like 180 grit sandpaper against the wooden walls inside of your fucking brain. You hum.
Mentally, Joel’s cock is spearing open the tight hole between your legs; making you scream his name. He’s thrusting his prick up into your cervix while you ride him like he’s the last cowboy on earth, desperate to feel a kind of pleasure that no man your age could ever bestow upon you.
In his head, he’s picturing your crucifix dangling in his face while you’re pleasuring yourself on his length; glistening with sweat, and cum, and Sierra Nevada. Howling at his girth, speechless at the size of him.
He wants nothing more than to wrap a hand around the base of your throat and fuck you into next week; feeling damp walls contract and seize around his cock—
“No.” You snap him back to reality; halting his train of thought. “No, you can tell me. I’m a big girl, I can take it.”
Oh, I’m fuckin’ sure she can.
“Fine.” He clears his throat. “Just thinkin’ of stufin’ that warm ‘lil cunt with my big ‘ol cock, ‘s’all.”
“Oh, is that all?” Your tone is teasing.
Joel does not like to be teased.
“If you’d shut your fuckin’ mouth, I’d be able to finish.”
In a moment of pure, unapologetic submission, you nod. The skin of your bottom lip is getting fucking gnawed at by your teeth in an attempt to conceal a moan.
It works. Kind of.
“What was I sayin’…” He strives to recall his last few words; and then he remembers. “Oh, yeah. Stretchin’ out that cute pussy ‘a yours.”
That cute pussy ‘a yours, is twitching. Fuck that, it’s pulsating.
“And you’re so sure of that? You being able to stretch me out, I mean.”
“Dead sure, angel face.” He quips. “I know for a damn fact that you’d be havin’ trouble takin’ my fat cock all in one go; be cryin’ for everyone to hear.”
Through long, thick lashes, you stare at him.
“You’d be seein’ stars; and not just the ones above us right now.”
You look up to the sky and hope to alleviate some of the mental pain being bestowed upon you right now. Which is entirely your own doing, of course.
Joel shifts in his seat so that he’s a little bit more sunken, able to heed clearly the sickly sweetness blanketing the chair you’re on.
“I’ll eat your pussy, too.”
Your attention is snapped back down to Joel, now. Your brows raise.
“Suck your soul right out from between your legs.”
“Oh, Joel.” You moan, a little. He lets his eyes shut for a brief moment, only to open them again to find you taking off your panties.
It’s like Christmas fucking day, this.
“I’d love for you to take me right here; fill me up on one ‘a the sunloungers.” You’re getting off your chair, and Joel’s heart is starting to pound within the chasms of his chest.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
You’re walking toward him; thong in hand. Fingers wreathed through soaked purple cotton.
“Can’t think of anything that’ll bring me more pleasure than you fuckin’ me ‘til I’m crying. Or gasping for air.”
“You ‘n me both, beautiful.”
You smile. You give Joel your underwear, before you’re running your fingers through his hair and he’s letting a hand glide up the meat of your thigh and beneath your skirt.
“Just a shame, ain’t it.”
“What’s a shame, sugar?”
The feeling of his fingertips—calloused and covered in rough skin—is almost orgasmic. But you’re stronger than what he is. So you pull yourself away from his hold, and begin to feel an unwavering sense of need. You shirk it, though.
You’re leaning into him now, breasts pressed against his shoulder, lips touching the shell of his ear. Goosebumps prickle over his neck and you assume that they’re making their way down south, too.
“Huh?” He says to get your attention, for you still haven’t answered. “What’s a shame?”
Fingertips trace over broad shoulders enveloped in soft, warm flannel. You’re leaning closer; hot breath on his skin. Your lips part to whisper:
“If daddy ever found out about this, he’d kill ‘ya.”
“Baby—“
You’re taking the panties from his hand, and tucking them into the breast pocket of his shirt. Fighting a blush—feeling very proud of yourself—your face remains straight.
You tap at his chest and walk away, but not before throwing a “night, Miller” over your shoulder.
Joel looks down at the ground, presently wallowing in some sort of self-pity. But then remembers the visible effect that his words had—and the way he looked at—you, and he can’t fight the stupid fucking grin pushing its way onto his face.
He might’ve just experienced blue-balls at his big age, but to see you submit to his gaze was absolutely worth it.
He just hopes you’ll never tell a soul about his dirty-talk. He has a reputation to uphold, these days.
#please don’t look at me. i’m ovulating#dbf!joel#dads best friend joel miller x reader#dbf!joel miller#joel miller#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller x reader smut#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller fic#joel miller smut#tlou x f!reader#tlou x female reader#tlou x you#tlou x reader#tlou smut#tlou fanfiction#tlou fic#joel tlou#tlou hbo
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i enjoy ur bird abode thoughts! I was a genuine enjoyer of the show when it was airing, I’m no die hard fan though and love to see ppls personal takes on the overall story/plot. Im curious if you also would agree or have any thoughts on the impacts The Mouse’s cancellation had on the shows ability to be more than it was? srry im not super eloquent with my words, but basically ur response to that ask got me wondering if part of the reason the show like genuinely wasnt all that ground breaking or unique in the end plot wise (other than the villain faces consequences in the end ig) as far as YA/Teen animation goes, was because of The Mouse’s inability to let the writers flesh out the show before gutting it? i have a negative bias toward The Mouse franchise and obviously dont know anything about how writing a show under the eyes of a franchise that big would work, its just smth that rattles around in my head and wanna know what u think!
Well to an extent, but I think it's much more the effect the studio had on how the owl house started out as rather than it not getting a full season at the end - It didn't escape my noticed that the show was initially announced as being a "horror comedy" when it doesn't really seem like either, especially by the second season, and yeah, the original pitch bible is obviously aiming for that much more than the show proper is as it goes along (and is honestly seems quite a bit more funny, weird, and dark, with an overarching plotline about a giant bug being used to religiously suppress people, eda able to cure her curse by killing luz, and one of the major characters being a teen boy awoken from a sleeping curse who ends up being a weird little bigot because he's from the 13th century, among other things)
(side note, i just noticed they actually specifically describe the thing i assumed the show was gonna be about here. huh.) but ultimately the bulk of the show that was actually made seems very influenced by a writing team that was genuinely interested in making a tropey YA fantasy story rather than just being mandated to. I mean even in what aired you can see the show sort of settle in ways that feel less like studio interference and more like, you know, art students creating their ideal fantasy show, like how King is clearly Eda's roommate who's funny because he looks like and sounds like a little dog despite being an adult man at the beginning but by the end they've made him her adopted sad backstory son who's explicitly a child. While I think a third season would have made the show as it existed better, because they clearly didn't get to finish the plot they wanted to (frankly to the point where some major aspects of the show are a bit confusing, I'm still not sure what a grimwalker is), I don't really fault the show for that but also don't think that hypothetical season (which pretty clearly would have been mostly about the magic school teens going to normal school) would suddenly flip around into something that I personally found interesting and subversive. Nor should it, really; again, it being Queernorm Harry Potter thing is clearly the intended appeal of the show, it's not really a flaw but just not a genre I'm personally interested in when compared to what I initially expected the show to be.
HOWEVER I will say they robbed little weird girls of their representation and that can't be forgiven
#does this not make sense or sound mean. I'm not trying to sound mean. it's fine. you'll like it if queernorm magic school sounds appealing#which it will to many many people#I think what happened is that they were studio mandated to make some changes that weakened the initial idea#but then the writers#all again tumblr art students#were just as interested if not more in making their own played entirely straight YA magic school thing#probably more than i even grasp as according to a friend who loves the show there's like.#cassandra claire harry potter fanfic references I'm not picking up on
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aline
“et j'ai crié, crié "aline!" pour qu'elle revienne, et j'ai pleuré, pleuré, oh j'avais trop de peine”
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pairing: wednesday addams x reader
summary: sometimes you’d talk about dying to wednesday, though it was something an addams couldn’t ever really fear. that was, until the person being lost was you.
warnings: erm you die lol, major character death, wednesday being sad, mentions of blood, self sacrifice, maybe a little contrived way to die but too bad
word count: 1.6k
A/N: i promise im okay but this was truly an interesting plot line to follow, and i couldn’t bear not writing it down. if it made you sad, don’t worry, because i have more fluffy stuff on the way. it was something short i had considered doing for a long time, so even if this flops i'm completely happy with how it came out.
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"Wednesday?" you asked, eyes on the wooden ceiling of her room. From the way her head rests against the warm plane of your chest, she can feel the smooth skin move as you say her name, heart right under her ear. It nearly lulls her to sleep, had it not been a question.
"Yes?" she purrs, lazily propping herself up on her arm. There are heavy weights on her eyelids, but the line of your mouth tells her something is troubling you. You’re too saturnine, much too glum for what you and Wednesday just did, and her eyes soften imperceptibly, her thumb going to your side to quietly stroke itself back and forth there. “What’s plaguing you?”
You can’t help but shudder at the contact of her hand and the goosebumps the pads of her fingers leave in their wake. “Are you... do you...," you attempt, the question falling flat on your tongue. She furrows her eyebrows at your hesitation.
"Say your thoughts,” she says, forehead creased in concern. It's almost funny, how caring and soft she is, now that she's given up on trying to seem aloof and apathetic towards you, her skin warm against your own.
The Addams Curse to love someone with every fibre of their being had taken hold of Wednesday entirely, and she looked at you sometimes like you held her beating heart in your hands, or at least like she'd cut it out for you, if you were to need it. She raises a hand, gently brushing a few hairs from your forehead.
“Are you afraid of dying?”
Her eyebrows furrow even further, scanning your face for any indicators of harm. “Where is this coming from? Has something been done to you?”
But you shrug, finally looking down to look her in the eyes with softness. “I was just wondering… are you?”
She narrows her eyes. “You know I’m an Addams. Death is a friend, not a foe. Fear of that serves no purpose. Only cowardice from facing a fight. Only to make you weak.”
Your eyes flit away. “Hm.” There’s no hiding of disagreement in your tone, and it has an embarrassing amount of power over her, how she itches to know what goes on in that head of yours.
“What?”
“I think… I think my fear is what makes me strong. I’m afraid of losing those I care about. And so I fight with every bit of sweat, blood, and tears that I have. Your loss is my deepest fear, Wednesday. My deepest.”
She stared at you momentarily, then looked out the window to the stars. “How is one to fear death when it is far from the end? Death may take me from your sight, but it cannot take me from your heart. There I live, vibrant and whole. Forever.”
===+++===
You’d never even realised how much blood the human body could actually hold, until you were standing there in the centre of the quad with an arrow straight right below your heart, its steel tip poking from your back. Your own blood coated your hands where you cupped it, dribbling down the splintered wood and splattering in droplets to the cobblestone in thick, dark red splotches.
The blood— your blood— is coming out even more now, and you turn to look at Wednesday, where you had shoved her out of harm’s way. Her eyes are wide in horror, like she's seeing something straight from a nightmare of hers, and you take a clammy step towards her, frigid and burning at the same time.
“Wens—” you stammer, and suddenly your knees are giving out. She rushes forward, trying to catch you in her arms, but you're too heavy, deadweight that tugs on her. You fall onto them, your knees, clutching at the newly opened maw of your chest with a gasp, and before you know it you’re falling forward towards the floor.
Wednesday follows you down, catching you before you can land, and she holds you tight, turning you over onto your back as the arrow sticks straight up from the heart she cherishes so much. The wood is already splintering, nearly falling apart, and her hand goes to your wound as if trying to put your blood back into your body.
It’s uncomfortable, with the metal tip of Xavier’s arrow sticking from the back of your chest and lightly prodding at her front, but she squeezes you tightly against herself, hands frantically travelling the length of your torso and raking over your arms, anywhere she can reach. But there’s nothing she can do. It’s a thought she refuses to confront, but Wednesday specialised in dealing with dead things; she was unfamiliar with how to keep things alive, no matter how much she needed you to stay that way.
Crackstone is cackling from his belly, a toothy sneer spreading itself out onto his leathery face as he looks at the damage he’s done, stomping towards you. “Hey!” Bianca yells from the opposite door, and the pilgrim whips around, as Xavier takes another shot at him. It lands in the pilgrim’s arm but he pulls it out like a twig, snapping it and tossing it to the ground, before he makes his way towards Bianca.
Your white shirt is completely soaking itself in your blood, droplets running down Wednesday’s fingers where she tries to hold the wound and apply pressure. But there was no saving a skewered heart.
"No, no, no," she coos, voice barely above a whisper and tears already pricking at the corners of her eyes. You're crying out in pain as the arrow shifts within you, fingers scrabbling at Wednesday's arms where they hold at you. Your fingernails sink into her skin, and she winces but doesn't pull away.
"Wens," you say again, infinitely weaker than before. "Wednesday…” It’s like your mouth won’t move coherently with your brain, like words mean trudging through ice and slush to come out, even the red-hot ones you need to say. “H—Hurts,” you spit out, and with it comes a small stream of blood from your mouth as you cough and air becomes less and less available.
She nods in a rush, tears beginning to stream down her cheeks. “I’m aware, I know,” she’s completely crying now. “We will get you care, cara mia, just hol�� just hold on for a little while.” But you’re shaking your head.
“Don’t have— I don’t have—” you’re coughing up more blood, and she wipes it from your chin with a shaky hand. There’s just too much of it, everywhere. You had once gifted her some as a token of your devotion and it was a prized possession of hers, but now there was so much and she would have given it back in a heartbeat if it gave you any more of those.
She can vaguely hear Bianca and Xavier yelling on the other side of the quad, and various fires rage on in their chaotic yet vibrant corners, tickling against her skin in large crackles, burning in the reflection of your eyes that stare up at the sky. Your head is leaning against her shoulder, and she raises her hand, stroking through your soft hair as you heave in her arms.
“You must live, I promise you,” Wednesday insists fiercely, “I promise you, if you die right now, I will kill you.” But its tears that streak down her face, her jaw clenching and dark eyeliner running down her cheeks. She’s squeezing you right against herself, feeling the pain of the sharp arrow poke at her own skin.
“Vibrant and wh—whole?” you said with a smile, feeling your voice begin to slow down and with it, the beating of your heart. The blood has pooled in a sick puddle around your body.
She’s shaking her head. “Cara mia, we don’t need to do this, we will get you to a doctor. You will be—”
“—Wednesday,” you interrupt. Your voice has reached an eerie calm that sends a shiver down her spine, and it snaps her from any sort of hope. “Vibrant… and whole?”
She looks down at you for a moment, tracing the features of your nose, the planes of your cheeks, the colours of your eyes and the wryness of your smile. Wednesday swallows. “Forever. You know that. You must always know that.”
You nod, letting out a small laugh. It hurts, she can hear you wheeze right after you done it, but you sit in silence for a moment, and she can feel you get slower and slower, and your shirt gets redder and redder. The tears are uncontrollable, now, as she sits there with you. Her friends are losing in the corner, but she's losing something unthinkable, and she's so damn scared the entire time it's happening.
"The stars look beautiful tonight," you whisper so only she can hear it, your voice cracking at the end. In seconds, you're gone. She can feel the life, the glorious life, evaporate from you, your head lulling back against her and your weight becoming a hundred times heavier, but she doesn't move, squeezing you against her.
She's unsure how long she stays like that, but when she can no longer take it, she shifts, laying you down on the ground. You look peaceful, looking up at the stars, and it takes an effort to close your eyes that Wednesday had never felt with the dead before. She gently closes them, shutting the door on the eyes that used to captivate her very heart. It's almost like she could convince herself that you're only resting for a moment, and she leans over you, placing a meaningful kiss upon your forehead, just like she would when she snuck out after a night of sleeping over, and there were no prying eyes there to watch.
"Vibrant and whole," she whispers like a promise, turning back to the fight with a piece of the sword in her shaking fists. "For you, cara mia."
===+++===
well that was sad... anyways more happy stuff coming next time
#jenna ortega x reader#jenna ortega#letorip#wednesday addams x reader#wednesday x reader#wednesday addams#wednesday addams x you#wednesday addams x y/n
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Hey!!! I LOVE YOUR FICS AAAA
I was thinking of something funny and cute for jjk where the reader is hit by someone with a curse that turns people into their child selves for a little while, how would the guys act?
When A Curse Turns You Into A Child
This is like... The cutest idea ever????
Fandom: Jujutsu Kaisen
Featuring: Gojo, Geto, Nanami.
Gojo Satoru
He was actually a bit worried when the curse first hit you, especially since you didn't even remember him... However, now? He's not worried at all, he's actually quite amused.
"Pleaaaaseee" you almost cried to the tall, mean man in front of you. "No. No ice cream for you." He responded with a huge smile on his face, which only made you burst out crying. "Whyyyyy?" You asked him with a face now covered in tears. He actually didn't mean to take it this far, but he was having so much fun with this. You will definitely be mortified when the effects of the curse vanish, and the thought makes him scaringly happy.
"Fine, Fine. But just one, you have to learn that no means no." You didn't seem to care at all about the last part of his sentence since your tears went away immediately, being replaced by a huge smile that almost made his heart melt. He picked you up and headed to the ice cream shop. He never knew you were so spoiled when you were a kid, you never told him. All he could think about was how hard it must have been for your parents to have such a whiny child. But in the depths of his mind, he also wondered if it would be like this if he ever had a child with you, and the idea didn't bother him one bit. It would be... Nice, wouldn't it?
He got you your ice cream and took you back home. You played Mario kart for a little while, he won the first rounds, but you cried every single time, so he was now letting you win. Once the final round was over, he pretended to be sad to see if you felt a little bad, but no. You jumped and laughed and yelled at him that he was a huge looser. What an annoying little monster you were.
Nanami Kento
He is the most stressed he's ever been in his whole life, what is he supposed to do? He knows nothing about children. To be honest, he wishes your parents lived closer so that he could just leave you there and come back once the curse is over.
"I want my mommyyyy" you cried to the stranger in front of you. "I know, I know, she'll be back soon, you don't have to cry." He said as he wiped your tears with a handkerchief. "Let's do something fun while we wait for her." He tried to cheer you up, even as a child, he hated to see you cry. "Like what?" You asked, still sobbing. "Do you like cookies?"
Kento looked at the kitchen and sighed. He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen such a mess, but at least you were happy. "Are they ready yet?" You asked, jumping excitedly. "They are." The man said with a subtle smile. He pulled the cookies out of the oven and warned you about the heat.
Once they were cold enough, you both sat down and had a couple, you with a glass of milk, and Kento with a cup of coffee. They had way too many chocolate chips for his liking, but you were the happiest child he'd ever seen while eating them. You rambled to him about how much you hated broccoli and how you wished you could eat cookies everyday, and he realized he wouldn't mind doing this for more than a couple of hours, he might be a family man, after all.
Geto Suguru
Well, weren't you the cutest little thing to ever exist? He was amazed by this, it is definitely the best thing that has happened to him in a while. He was already thinking of how he would tease you when it all ended.
But now, he was way more focused on not pushing the swing too hard. You were having so much fun, but he was so scared you would hit the ground. Yet, you seemed to have no worries or fear, making your biggest effort to move the swing faster. "How about we go to the slide?" Geto asked, tired of preventing the swing from throwing you to the other side of the playground. "But I like it here!" You yelled, visibly annoyed that he stopped pushing you. Geto looked around to try to find something else. "Wouldn't you like to go to the roundabout?"
He didn't often regret things in his life, but he sure was regretting ever suggesting this. He thought you would get tired soon, but no. He had been holding his vomit for about 5 minutes now, but it was already too late, he gave up and turned around to let it all out on the ground. The mothers and kids gave him disgusted looks, but you bursted out laughing, which made him laugh too. It hadn't been such a bad day, after all.
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jujustsu kaisen x reader#gojo satoru#nanami kento#geto suguru#jjk headcanons#headcanons#imagine
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Hi! I've noticed that almost every post-s2 fic has some form of Crowley being heartbroken (drunk and/or sleeping usually). (Usually these fics also include Aziraphale having been wrong during the Final Fifteen and needing Crowley's help.)
Are there any post-s2 fics out there where Crowley *isn't* heartbroken? I'm hoping for ones where there's a secret plan and Crowley was headed on a covert mission at the end of s2, but anything where he isn't just falling apart would be great.
I do get a bit tired of seeing so many sad, drunk, heartbroken Crowley fics. Here are some where he is Not Like That...
Betrayal Stings Like a Serpent’s Bite by Inherently_human (G)
When the Supreme Archangel walks into the bookshop, he is shocked to still find his demon there. And he's singing and tidying, of all things. Guilt tears at Aziraphale, but Crowley reassures him of the only truth that matters: he trusts him.
Aziraphale vs. The System by gatoradeeh7x3 (T)
Crowley decides to take Nina and Maggie's advice and speak with Aziraphale following The Kiss. He proposes a one-month trial period as Aziraphale's second-in-command. Follow along as Aziraphale tackles the challenges of institutional reform while Crowley waits patiently for his angel to see reason.
Two sides of the same coin by Sylvestris123 (T)
After Aziraphale is recalled back to Heaven to become Supreme Archangel, Crowley tries to pick up his life. Before long they find themselves in the next battle to save the Earth - this time from the Second Coming and the Final War.
Deep Blue Sea (or: Crowley's Thoughts About Coastal Erosion) by Imagined (T)
Aziraphale looks at Crowley. Several complicated emotions cross over his face—his familiar, well-known face, and Crowley can precisely pinpoint everything that is going on with his brows and his lips and the pinching of his eyes, can read in the lines of Aziraphale’s expression the way he is working up to something— “Who are you again?” Aziraphale asks, and Crowley crashes like the wave against the rocks.
Five years after he left for Heaven, an angel plummets out of the sky, with no recollection of much of anything, really. While navigating his own complicated feelings, Crowley is left to wonder what happened to Aziraphale, and most notably… to figure out why their wings are turning grey.
A Light in the Dark by cyankelpie (T)
After leaving Crowley to return to Heaven, Aziraphale Falls, certain that no one will help him pick himself back up. Crowley proves him wrong.
On the Side of the World by profdanglais (M)
The demon Crowley has gone rogue. Precisely what “rogue” looks like on a demon who was never anyone’s idea of “manageable” is something neither Heaven nor Hell is currently equipped to deal with. Hell is rebuilding and Heaven, under the auspices of the Supreme Archangel Aziraphale, is focused on spreading the Word of their prophet, known as the Second Coming--of what, exactly, remains unspecified. Neither side seems to remember who Crowley used to be, nor have they bothered to change the passwords. The Metatron has no interest in demons, rogue or otherwise. His Plan is going swimmingly and he couldn't be more pleased. Now if only he could figure out who’s responsible for all these unauthorised miracles that just keep happening, far and wide, on planet Earth.
- Mod D
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Don't Worry, Fragile Flower
"What's the harm, little one?"
You had been invited to a bit of fun. One of your old friends was celebrating her Domestication Day, and you had agreed, thinking it was a small little get together where you shared a few drinks with her and her Master (a lovely old fellow that gave you fantastic advice).
When you got to her place and saw they had temporarily removed her house and installed a pavilion, you realized you may have assumed a bit too much.
"It's just a little bit of fun, you know. Class A xenodrugs like this one are rated for you, I already checked with your Vet."
You were one of the few independents there, with the rest being an absolute gagglefuck of florets and Owners…and quite a few affini looking for a meet-cute. Including the one currently boxing you in a corner, all four of her eyes trained on one thing: you.
"It will be a quick little prick, and then you get to feel everything so much….brighter. So much more. Does that really sound so bad?"
You shift uneasily at the vine she held between you, the pale yellow flower on its tip seeming to glow gold in the setting starlight. She was apparently a friend of a friend, or something. Maybe she was just a random affini who had wandered to the commotion. There really wasn't any way for you to check, unfortunately.
"Is something wrong? Plenty of respectable independents enjoy a bit of fun, you know. Unless…" She leans in closer, pressing the vine against your stomach and chest. You can't look at both her and the flower anymore, so you keep your eyes trained on hers.
"Unless you're one of those." Her voice drops to a whisper that rolls over your ears, as if it was a secret to share between you, as if you weren't complete strangers.
"Unless you're a floret, and just don't know it yet. It happens, oh yes. Far, far too often, really. A silly little sophont sees their friend enjoy a new life, and gets an uncomfortable knot in their stomach. Anger and sadness and jealousy. Because deep deeeeeep down, they want it sooooo badly. But they don't know how to say it, so they wrap it up all snug in a blanket of denial."
She peers at your face, searching for something in your eyes. You hold your breath, thoughts sparking out in bursts of energy, nothing useful or usable.
And then you feel the sting of a needle, though not the one resting on your chest. It was, you belatedly realize, just a pretty distraction.
"Don't worry about all that anymore, petal. You can't hide from meeee~ now then."
Her eyes pulled you forward and down as if gravity itself had changed. As you tipped onto your knees, she caught you by the throat, letting your knees dangle just slightly off the ground. Her smile was everything at the moment, a blazing star of emotion that smoothed all the worries in your brain.
She giggled, triumphant. "Say 'Thank You', dear~"
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i hope this doesn’t put any pressure on you because its not meant to at all but can u give us a preview of anything in your drafts 🥲
yes! absolutely i can <3 here's an extra long preview bc i haven't published anything in a hot min:
preview of the heartbeat!au "honeymoon phase" fic:
warnings: rpf below, do not proceed if you dont fw that but this is in rpf tags so why were you even here to begin with
The light of your phone sears into your eyes, a start contrast from the dark of your bedroom. By now your circadian rhythm undoubtedly in deep disarray. However bad you knew staying up way into the early hours of the morning was, you couldn't seem to rip yourself from the distraction of the blue light, perfectly coded algorithms keeping your anxieties at bay.
For the last week of your life your usual peaceful sleep had been ripped through by horrific nightmares, leading you to prefer to just skip sleeping all together. Of course, you knew that wasn't exactly possible, but maybe if you could just avoid falling asleep until the sun came up you could finally be freed of those dreaded night terrors.
The mattress dips beside you, a groan falling from Joost's lips, peacefully asleep next to you. It had been hours since you had said goodnight to each other, since he kissed you with the promise that you two would soon would be deep in slumber. You hadn't bothered to tell him about your nightmare issue, it had felt so childish. You had only been together for a few months now, your relationship seeming far too fresh to deal out what you had deemed "embarrassing" information. Besides, what was he to do about that? It wasn't like he had the power to change the workings of your subconscious mind.
The comforter slips from Joost's shoulders as he shuffles in his sleep, rolling from one side to another, now facing you. You finally pull yourself from your endless scrolling, turning your head to get a look at Joost. He's illuminated just right by the sliver moonlight that peaks through your curtains. The corners of your mouth peak in a slight smile, a rush a warmth running through you as your eyes finally settle on him.
You couldn't believe your luck with him, desperate for friends outside of your classmates after making the leap of faith to transfer schools and move to a different country for your final year of university. You'd been working as a waitress in Amsterdam, which, all things considered wasn't an ideal position for you, given your less than stellar Dutch, but locals were usually sympathetic to your situation, and tourists hardly spoke Dutch anyway. The day you had met Joost had started as what you had postulated to be the worst shift of your life. Hungover during a rush that seemed to last for hours, constantly seated with the most impossible to please customers. Once you were out of the weeds you had been seated with what you were promised to be your last table of the night, trying your best to suppress a groan and an eye roll as you walked up to the table, your eyes immediately falling to Joost, who had been there with what you would eventually learn were his closest friends.
You had thought you known the type, unruly hair, and scattered tattoos, dressed head-to-toe in Supreme, a cocky smile pressed to his lips. Attractive no doubt, but a type. The type that was undoubtably too interested in the Soundcloud rap scene, probably attempting to make it in that space too as a cheap rip-off of Lil Peep. The type to blow all his money on what streams his mediocre raps did get on box-logo shirts and supreme branded underwear. You could already hear the surface-level introspection of his lyrics, writing about how sad and heartbroken he'd been left by all the girls in his life when in reality he was nothing more than a fuckboy with a shitty nail polish job.
Being young and living in a city you had seen the type before, served the type more than a handful of times since you had started your job. They were always the same, traveled in large groups, like that was their "entourage", usually loud, demanding, and obnoxious, thinking their 2,000 Soundcloud streams, hundred dollar T-shirts and knock-off designer shoes made them a celebrity. They'd flirt with you and act aghast when you dared not to flirt back with them.
You had thought you known the type. But when you had gone up to begin helping his table, your previous perceptions had immediately been shattered- immediately becoming even more attractive upon your realization that he wasn't the worst. There was a quiet flirting underneath his goofy- yet reserved demeanor, the type of flirting you didn't mind and eventually reciprocated when he'd become a regular.
It was apparent that you had gotten the fuckboy thing all wrong. When he had finally got the courage to ask you out he hadn't even seen particularly in a hurry to sleep with you, though that wouldn't stop you from giving it up that night.
As Joost softly snores from beside you, you can't help but want nothing more than to be fitted snuggly between his arms, head pressed to his chest- listening to his heartbeat as you fall into a deep, peaceful sleep. But your current aversion to sleeping aside, you can't bring yourself to potentially wake him to do so.
You take your eyes from him, focusing back on the harsh light that burns into your retinas, continuing your scrolling, barely distracted by another long groan leaving Joost's lips.
"Ga slapen," (go to sleep) His voice surprises you, slow and thick with sleep- you hadn't expected him to be awake.
"Hmm?" You hum, pretending to not have heard him, you set your phone down on the bedside table and focus your attention to Joost.
"Hoe lat is het?" (What time is it?) He yawns, struggling to open his eyes.
You don't want to answer, knowing he'll question you on why you're up so late.
"Go back to sleep," You coo, hoping he'll be tired enough to listen without any resistance. You reach out a hand, slowly carding your fingers through his hair. You lift some pieces that had gotten stuck to his forehead with sweat, Joost was the type to overheat in his sleep, furiously kicking the blankets off of the two of you in the middle of the night, or perhaps worse rolling over onto you while he slept, causing you to suffocate in his humid body heat.
"Nhn, nhn." He tuts, his eyes finally opening entirely, "Je kan niet zomaar (You can't just)- Nhn, You can't just rub my head back to sleep." English finally coming back to him as he sits himself up against the pillows, his head now at your shoulder height in your upright position.
"I tried," A small smile pokes at your lips.
"Why are you awake?" His questioning isn't interrogative, still clearly very sleepy as he nuzzles his head into the pillow, "What time is it?" He asks again.
"I don't know," You mumble, your voice dipping out, answering more-so the latter question.
"You can't lie to me," Joost presses his forehead to your arm, snuggling in to you. How true that was. It surprised you how fast he was able to learn you- the subtleties of your mannerisms, able to pick up on your true emotions from the smallest tells.
"It's late," You simply respond, "I'll go to bed soon." Trying to avoid any further questioning.
"Not soon," Joost whines, his voice stifled by where his lips touch your skin. He throws an arm around the front of you, "Now."
You can't do much besides sigh in response, fidgeting under the comforter to sink down to his level. Your face is right in front of Joost's now, the warmth of his slow breaths ghosting over your skin.
"Sleep now," Joost tightens the arm he had slung around you, using it to pull you closer to him. He's unbearably warm, but you melt into him anyway, turning on your side to press your chest into his.
"I can't."
"Not tired?" Joost asks, "Why not?"
"So tired."
"Then sleep." Joost puckers his lips, barely stretching out his head to press a kiss to your forehead. It's so simple to him just sleep, if only it was that easy for you.
"Can't Joost."
"Why not?" He asks again, pushing harder this time.
"Dunno," You hum, pausing for a moment trying to formulate the least embarrassing way to describe your situation, "Bad dreams I guess, I dunno." You speak quickly, hoping maybe he won't catch all of it, the processes of his brain slowed by sleep.
Joost suddenly becomes more aware, more awake, like you've said some sort of sleeper phrase to activate something in him.
"Could have just told me that, schatje." He coos, it's reassuring, and you suddenly feel so stupid for holding that in. "Could have told me that before I feel asleep without you."
"Seemed stupid." You sigh, pushing your face further into the pillow.
"Not stupid." Joost assures, "What are they about?"
"Don't know. Just- bad."
"I'm sorry." Joost frowns. You feel the arm that he holds around you sneak under the comforter, coming to snake around your torso, his hand pushing into your back to press your body closer to him. The front of your T-shirt no longer just grazing the bare skin of his chest, but rather the two of you have molded into each other. "What can I do?" His lips now pressed against your shoulder from this closer position.
"Nothing,"
"No?" He places a small kiss to your shoulder through the fabric of your shirt.
"Not unless you can go into my brain and control my subconscious and make me dream of like puppies and rainbows." You follow with a dry laughter, any real humor stifled by your exhaustion.
"Mmm, if I could I would liefje."
#my inbox 💌#current wip#joost klein x reader#joost klein rpf#rpf#joost klein fanfic#joost klein fic#heartbeat! au
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Pre-finale Arcane thoughts
I'm so glad we are getting more Arcane content tonight, I am so sad that we are never getting Arcane content ever again.
The writers have revealed that Act 3 will be the longest act by far, with the final episode being much longer than the average episode. It isn't specified how long, but it will be longer.
Despite this extra runtime, and the S2 pattern of getting multiple music video segments per episode, this Act has by far the least songs. Most of the songs have already happened. We only have 3 songs on the soundtrack that haven't happened yet. Then again that assuming the Blood Sweat and tears song will not make it into Arcane. This might be a good sign that they are going to use that extra time for more detailed plot. I know too much music was a big complaint of the first 2 acts.
Also there will be a Viktor song ♥️
I am hopeful for more Jayce and Viktor content, I am excited that they will have another confrontation and Viktors final transformation. I am of course sad about the figurative death of Viktors humanity. It seems from some leaks like the show will put immense emphasis on Viktor and Sky's relationship. It is still unclear to me if the Sky Viktor see's in the Hexcore is really Sky. From what we saw in S1 Viktor and Sky didn't have a very close relationship, we are only ever shown him brushing her off. His grief over her death is more a general guilt and grief of having taken a good persons life, not a personal loss because of a significant relationship between them. My interpretation is that Viktors visions of Sky are a manifestation of guilt. After finding out how much she looked up to him he wished that he had gotten to know her when he could. Believing she is with him now is a coping mechanism to avoid the guilt that he is grieving someone who he went out of his way not to give a chance. Maybe the show will take it in this direction, maybe she will be revealed to be the Hexcore controlling him, maybe they go all in on SkyVik as the new doomed romance.
I like Jinx and I look forward to the show furthering her recovery. If they do. Inevitable because of the death of Isha Jinx is going to spiral, we will get way more sad Jinx content. She will try and kill herself again, she will be absolutely destroying and isolating herself. It's the same thing we have gotten from Jinx for the entire show, she is just forever on the pain train. I am hopeful however that the show will focus on a recovery and that Vi and Jinx's relationship will stay intact despite Jinx's intense grief. I hope Vi will in some way be able to stay and comfort Jinx through the loss of Isha, and through Jinx's self blame. Both Vi and Jinx blame themselves for the death of their younger sibling (powder's emotional death) and perhaps they can both find solace in each other.
Caitlyn and Vi will get back together. Fingers crossed that we get a Cait/Vi sex scene. though honestly the hope is mostly for the memes. After their devastating breakup I am not sure how well the show will be able to just get them back together and make the relationship ok. From both characters perspectives the other has betrayed them in every way, gone against their deepest morals. Vi is in a close family relationship with Jinx, the woman who killed Caitlyns mother, after she promised she had no more sympathy for Jinx. Caitlyn betrayed Vi's trust and tried to shoot a child, then she attacked Vi and gassed the streets of her home. I really hope Arcane doesn't just gloss over this and get them back together. We know from the trailers that they at least argue about it, but most of the blame seems to be shifted to Ambessa, which is kinda weak.
Obviously we will get the Ekko/Heimerdinger Time travel plot. My only concern is that we will not get enough time for this. Even with the extra long act, time travel is an insane element to include this late in the story. Time travel as a plot point is infamous for creating massive problems for the story, it's almost never done well.
Overall I think episode 7 will start with a cold open flashback to Jayce's time in the Hexcore and show us both what happened to him that caused his turn against Viktor, I think this will be a flash forward to a future where Viktors commune has spread and the people don't really have free will. This flashback will also show us what happened to Ekko and Heimerdinger. This is where time travel will be introduced.
The next episode will focus on Jinxs grief, she will have another attempt on her life and be stopped by Vi. Vi and Caitlyn fight over Jinx's involvement in Caitlyns mothers death, but Caitlyn will see Jinx's grief and how it mirrors her own and come to the conclusion that war destroy all. Caitlyn and Vi will fight about Caitlyns involvement with Ambessa. Ambessa and Singed will be bringing Vander back to life as well as Viktor. Singed will strip Viktor of his remaining humanity so the "mutation" will survive. Viktor in some way will agree to this motivated by his witnessing how emotions tore down his commune and the betrayal of his best friend, accompanied by The Line song.
Jayce returns and finds out that Viktor is being resurrected, he once again wants to stop him in order to stop the Arcane from spreading. He will explain the Hexcores spread to Vi and Caitlyn to explain his action sagainst Viktor.
In the final episode they all team up to fight Ambessa, Jayce goes separately to fight Viktor. Ambessa will have revived Vander, except he will have lost his humanity and no longer contain Vi's father. This breaks Vi's heart, but she ultimately has to fight and stop him. Caitlyn and Ambessa will have a showdown that mirrors their training fight on the boat. This fight will take most of the episode and have a banger soundtrack. At some point in this Piltover v.s. Noxus battle Jinx will show up having made the choice to move forward and redefine herself, here we get the haircut and new design. Maybe she will rename herself.
I'm not sure how Mel fits in, her plotline seems so separate to the rest of the story. My assumption is she somehow makes it back to Piltover and confronts her mother about being the mystery child with magic powers. She will also side with Piltover against her mother. Being forced to fight against her daughter will shake Ambessa's resolve, as in her mind she is doing all this for her daughter.
I have the sinking feeling this will all end with the characters solving it with the power of friendship. It seems obvious that they will team up to fight Noxus, but there is no way they kill Ambessa, she is too profitable and promoted by Riot. Her status as a badass is being promoted on all the games and she has a tie in book coming out. I doubt they kill Vi or Jinx, too central. Caitlyn has to live to end up with Vi. Killing Viktor for a third time would be cheap. Jayce's arc hasn't led up to it.
I have a lot of ideas for cool things that could happen, and where it feels like the story is steering, But I can't see how these plot threads come together for a satisfying conclusion in just 3 episodes.
So much discussion about Arcane S2 ends with "but we'll see where it goes" this is the shows last chance to prove if it really was going somewhere with all of this, if the last few episodes were just set up to something great, like how so many people found season 1 act 1 boring/generic. or if the show is just fumbled. If these episodes suck then it will retroactively make these characters arcs all feel like they ended up going nowhere. In a heavily plotted show like Arcane where everything has always ended on a cliff hanger, where it finally goes will make or break the show. These character arcs and little animation details people have been obsessing over were either genius or a bunch of fluff that ended up amounting to nothing.
I am excited, a little worried. Mostly excited.
#arcane#arcane league of legends#arcane season 2#viktor arcane#jayce talis#arcane jinx#arcane theory#vi arcane#arcane jayce#arcane predictions#predictions#arcane discussion#arcane caitlyn#caitlyn kiramman#caitvi
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anybody else feel like the scene where reko dies in the Alice Lives route felt weirdly rushed and logically inconsistent compared to Alice's death? more under the cut
The biggest inconsistency is how the real Reko dies in her given route; the fake reko has a knife for whatever reason- ive heard whispers of it being kais so im going to hand wave and assume how it gets in her grasp is discussed at some point (im hoping)- and despite Alice somehow being able to lay there with about 40-60% of his major bodily organs exploded out of his body and still give Reko his dying words, Reko just. instantly dies. flops to floor. from one stab wound. with what i can only assume is a sharpened butter knife because its so damn tiny. she doesnt even fight back? or say anything? these details seem small but feel distracting for such a pivotal moment in the game and seem strangely out of character. i get that the real reko is probably shocked out of her mind about what the fuck is happening, but there shouldve been at least like, 1 line of diaogue making that more explicitly clear. on top of it being kinda bull that they only get to reconcile in the Reko Lives route. It feels like a very purposeful choice to remove Reko's ability to properly forgive her brother in her last moments, so perhaps this is supposed to reflect something about her/the nature of their dynamic, but its execution is just kind of sloppy. Im assuming her strangely instant death was an attempt to make it so she couldnt have last words towards her brother in order to reinforce some aspect of his character arc (in which case it doesnt get covered nearly enough to feel like thats the case, but the yabusame's character arcs being cut short is an entirely different rant) but of all the weird ways to die in this game, why choose stabbing? even choking wouldve made more sense; cant exactly talk while youre being choked. it takes about 4-5 minutes to die from asphyxiation, add a short scene where nao is arguing with the fake reko as the real reko dies and boom. still probably a little too quick to be realistic but i would argue it makes more sense than Instant Death Induced By Butter Knife Impalement. but how the real reko dies is kind of besides the point, because the fact that she passes without dying words is far more bothersome to me. because throughout the entirety of the things that happen between the yabusames in chapter 2, we never get to see what the real reko's view of even a little of it was. all of it is from alice's perspective. part of this makes sense- her relationship with her brother and how she used to be in the past in general* is something shes clearly closed off about. and i could excuse her rushed death if we got a stronger understanding of her view of it in the route where she lives, but we barely even get that either. we dont even get any hint of her feelings on nao dying. why did you give up on the yabusames like that Nankidai. huh. and shes probably holding back discussing any of this because shes not about to trauma dump on a highschool girl, but at least a scene like the one we got in the monitor room where shes obviously sad even if she isnt saying anything. give me reko yabusame shinji ikari posing in that room with all the paintings. anything. *reko AI does give us details about her past, but i think its safe assume this has to do with it being the pre-personality version of reko.
#reko yabusame#yttd#kimi ga shine#i kinda curbed it at the end because the more i think about it the more it does make sense that reko would try and not let her grieving#affect anyone else#but i still think there shoudlve been something to allude to the pain she was in#even if it was subtle#obsession original
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Yeah see, you SAY this… but the show DOES explore these things. We DO see the ways grief and sadness affect different characters. In their actions. Their dialogue. And they have profound effects on the rest of the plot as a result. For multiple characters.
You’re also treating it like it’s done? When it’s not? We’re in the MIDDLE of the story and you’re treating it as if Caitlyn and Vi still aren’t going to grow or change or learn from the mistakes they’ve made so far.
I dunno about you, but seeing Jinx become less crazy and more self actualizing and willing to defend others when previously she was suicidal and insane is not “regressing her character” the way you seem to think it is. And we see her go through it, step by step.
Here let me even give you an example. Jinx is feeling better because she has Isha to take care of. She likes the way things are going and she’s content with not being the leader of the underground resistance (just like Vander by the way). She hasn’t had any psychotic hallucinations or anything for a long time because nothing is stressing her out anymore. Until Isha gets kidnapped by the Enforcers. Then suddenly she’s not just sad and angry and upset, she’s starting to have a relapse and full blown meltdown. Such a bad one that even Sevika is scared of how unhinged she’s become. Her sadness about what happened leads her actions to stepping up and freeing the people of the prison. And in that moment she receives the first piece of positive validation from the community that she’d always wanted. When the small gremlin lady gently pats her hand and smiles and nods as she silently walks away… you shouldn’t need someone screaming “YOU DID GOOD” for that message to be received.
What bothers me is that you CHOOSE to ignore that and claim the show ISN’T showing you any of this when it is. Arcane is a lot of things, but it is not subtle. It is IN YOUR FACE with its themes and messages and parallels.
The story is fine, you just choose NOT to take it in. You dismiss it when the story DOES present what’s happening to the characters and how it affects others.
And really cannot understand why other than you just CHOOSE to remain ignorant.
Not sure how to word this but people pushing back against arcane s2 criticism with “mEdiA LiTeRaCy” when said media literacy amounts to microanalyzing a character’s facial expression screams a disconnect in storytelling. I shouldn’t have to pause the screen and look at Cait’s eye crust to know that “akushally she never trusted Ambessa🤓☝️” when we should’ve naturally been led to that conclusion.
In s1, we know that Powder is desperate to prove herself and we know why she decided to go to Silco’s liar despite being told to stay put. Imagine if they cut out all those scenes of Mylo teasing/berating her, the moments where she screwed up on the mission, her feeling like a failure only for Vi to encourage, and inadvertently, enable her—imagine if they got rid of that and instead had a few scenes of her looking sad bc her gadgets broke and then deciding to go to Silco’s liar bc ??? like should we analyze the symbolic meaning of Powder’s shoes and Mylo’s eyebrows to understand why she did what she did? Is that good storytelling to yall? Idk
There’s a reason why s2 is getting a lot more pushback than s1 and it’s not because people just “don’t get it”.
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Gwaynston soulmates au, where are they… not soulmates. the universe didn't choose them for each other. none of them blindly dissolves into the other, their characters do not fit perfectly, like a folded puzzle, they do not have a special connection in which they understand each other without words, their experiences are different and their worldviews are not identical. but despite a lot of squabbles and misunderstandings at the beginning, they continue to stick together, they make efforts to make it work. This is not like a linear journey where there is a clear exposition-beginning-culmination-end. It is a winding path with many potholes on the road. but the love that fills their hearts, the realization that they are someone's priority, the sense that they are not alone in this world and the desire to share every moment with this person and no one else, makes all the hard work they do worthwhile. because the universe didn't choose them for each other, but they did.
#No it's far from sad if it seemed that way#they are simply deprived of cheat codes and forced to work as if in a realistic relationship (it is)#and this only makes their bond stronger because it was their conscious choice#the relationship of two mature people who do not want the past to define their common present#Because I think Criston might have had a sad experience with a soulmate.#Gwayne looks like someone who has never believed in this concept secretly worried that he did not meet his own#They start out as forced allies who have looked at each other and decided that they want to fight for it#Gwayne learns to give in#and Criston who always sacrifices himself for the interests of others learns to accept and put himself in an equal position#(because excessive sacrifice also tends to spill over into toxicity)#gwayston#gwaynston#criston x gwayne#gwayne hightower#criston cole#hotd#house of the dragon#my post
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i like to think, as a hc or a theory (because it’s definitely possible), that charles has had a few kisses throughout his high school years, sure, but past that he’s undeniably a virgin– well, kind of undeniably, because I think he’d deny it if found out by trying to use technicalities (“I mean that one time there was friction involved–“), but to any reasonable person, and by occult standards (see: edwin being a virgin sacrifice), he’s a virgin.
and i think this because it seems like him to fib about his level of experience (like he did when agreeing he’d sleep with crystal, matching her level of casualness about it) when in the presence of people who do, actually, have experience, in the hopes he doesn’t come off as lame or childish. given what we know about his “friends” when he was alive, they seem like the type to have teased or bullied boys– especially in their own circle– who haven’t gotten laid, or at the very least would’ve thought less of someone for it. and given what we know about charles, i don’t think he’d be nearly as sleazy and inconsiderate as his group when it comes to landing girls with the primary intention of adding to his body count. and considering he’s only supposed to be 16? and has never mentioned any significant relationships pre-death? it just seems unlikely.
all that to say– I can see him maintaining that facade of experience and confidence literally right up until the moment it matters, and in the heat of the moment getting nervous and embarrassed because “uhhh. so I may have been exaggerating some things.” though he’s not totally clueless either, I think it’d take a bit of a soft heart to heart moment for him to be reassured enough that he won’t fuck up and hurt his partner to go any further.
anyway not sure what the relevance of this is, but it’s something.
#rambling#charles#dead boy detectives#charles rowland#that means almost definitely crystal is the only one who’s not a virgin. I don’t think I need to explain why#though that wouldn’t make intimacy particularly easier for her I don’t think. considering most of her experiences have probably been with#her Literal Demon Abusive Stalker Boyfriend#but I digress#trying not to put too much weight on ages when it comes to these kinds of headcanons/theories because. I mean. they’re not treated like#16 year olds by the plot nor do they look like 16 year olds at all and it really seems like they’re just sorta#pushing that fact off to the side and pretending it’s not there which frankly is understandable (but I do think since they already aged up#the characters from the comic they should’ve just went a couple years higher and everything would make more sense– just make them all 18#instead then crystal and niko renting rooms on their own would be feasible and edwin could still have been a student at the boarding school#when he died; just would’ve been in his last year instead of whatever he was supposed to be canonically)#buuuut that being said I think that as a teenager in general it’s far more common than not to be a virgin simply due to the fact that#you literally have not had much time to get that experience yet. among other reasons#so. incredibly normal. but charles’ friends were the type to pick someone apart for anything less than masculine#including proving one’s masculinity via getting a woman under you#sad. like I said though it’s not like he has no game or anything; he clearly had some experience in making out and whatever based on#the scene with crystal. plus he was confident enough in his abilities to take initiative. but beyond that. yeah#I think this is the more interesting way to go too when it comes to this topic. in addition to being in character
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He see it, so easily it almost hurt, how in her element she must have been back them, swarmed by an army of toddlers. How the glitter that followed her everywhere must never have seemed out of place. There was a pang, something that tugged at his heart, the deep and sudden desire to have been there then, to have been the one to point out that something she owned was once again shinnier than it should be. It all sounded so mundane, so normal, so far from this world and Hudson was sad, truly sad, that it was gone. Not that he let it showed, the way he felt about Aiyla was something he kept hidden. It was just better that way. Still, he couldn't help the smile that such a vision created. "Absolutely. Already worn, maybe a bit bloody." He said it with a laugh but it wasn't that far from the truth. "What can I say, my sense of fashion was avant-garde," he said teasingly.
"Why not? You were proudly waving it earlier. Might even become an extension of yourself. But I can call you glitter if you prefer." He would not do such a thing and he would not call her machete either, at least not too often. Hudson cocked an eyebrow and crossed his arms at her words, the idea of Aiyla coming up with some nickname for him funny. He liked this, this thing they had going. It made him feel worthy, made him feel whole. With her, it was so easy to forget the rest of the world, both the things he had done and the way the world as a whole had gone to hell. He wanted to find that quiet place, somewhere safe, for her. "How 'bout you think it over and come up with something fun? Machete is already taken, for the reccord."
aiyla had always been told the pain of loss eased with time ⸻ yet the memories still tugged at her heartstrings like nothing else. she hums softly in agreement, "it certainly was a sight." there's more at the tip of her tongue ( the admission that once, she'd wanted a bunch of kids of her own, but that seems to private of a truth to share ⸻ not when she knows such a thing would only caused looks of pity or question her sanity for wishing such a thing in this sort of world ). "so much glitter. i would find it weeks later clinging to the most random items." blue hues flicker over his attire as her head tilts slightly in interest to his admission. "it's safe to assume that when we scavenge for clothing and i pick something out that it's something you would have worn previously then? that'll just leave making you something you'd actually like that much easier as well," the latter bit more so mumbled to herself than anything.
one thing at a time. at the very least, she could manage that. releasing a soft puff of a breath, her head inclined to a nod ⸻ happy to leave everything else to him for the time being at least. at the mention of stopping for the evening however, hues flicker down the street toward the remaining houses they have to hit. there's a temptation to push him into looking through them, but the light is growing scarce, so with a sigh, she too concedes to this. "please don't tell me you'll be referring to me as machete from now on," she murmurs, giving his arm a little nudge as she steps around him back toward the house they've been hunkering down into. "and if you are, just know it's fair game for me to come up with something for you in turn."
#━━ ✦ 𝐇𝐔𝐃𝐒𝐎𝐍#━━ ✦ 𝐇𝐔𝐃𝐒𝐎𝐍 & 𝐀𝐈𝐘𝐋𝐀#isolatednights#queue me up scotty#i'm going gifless here because he needs more than 2 packs
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hey. pspsps. for whenever u need it. hands u a Talk About Yuor Beasts ticket for azrael and kenix. disappears into my shrub again. woe
HELLOOOO HAI. I FINALLY WROTE THIS HOLY SHIT. just to prepare you people, this thing is going to get LONG. EXTRA LONG COMPARED TO MY USUAL OC RANTPOSTS. 57 paragraphs and about ~7000 words. Yeag ^_^ read at your own risk and if you have a Lot Of Free Time Alrightsies? And also if you want to hear about fucked up and doomed little queer guys! I had tried to cover everything about azranix in here so let's goooo !!!
okay so first of all i will Definitely be reusing some of the old info i have already said about them before because Yeag ^_^ it is definitely needed for context for all the other people that have been following my blog and never read my previous rant posts. And those who just Never Saw Said Oc Posts dhehdsh just so this all would make some sense
and God. i've had kenix and azrael for abouttttt 2+ years by now i think ? ? and their story have changed a lot but GOD they still have such a grip on my soul.,,, cannot think about them without being Plagued very intensely and extremely and severely. they were this one Thing but then their dynamic and relationship evolved and so did they as people and it makes me So Sick of them soemtimes i swearrrr.. . .
so to start off! yeah the already known thing is that they're part of the seven deadly sins order of characters but to make it easier i'll just call them either sins crew or seven sinners. For my own Convenience. The concept of the sins crew is that they are mirroring the main original timeline cast. While the main cast is blessed by the divine in the name of keeping peace of their perspective duties. the sins crew Unfortunately did not get such treatment. To be part of the sins crew is to be abandoned by the gods above Basically. which is exactly their fate! they have curses and not blessings and. to make it short that's just how they have been punished for even having desires! Quite Unfair,, , ,
each of them have their own perspective sins and here, azrael and kenix have envy and lust as their assigned sins respectively. each of their actions that lead to this point are represented by said sins ofcourse but in their own ways (so No not That kind of lust for kenix i know please do not) i think i have explained all the needed context before i get to both of them on their own and then together ^_^ firstly i'll explain azrael because Yeag.
azrael is kind of. Complicated to say the least. a living weapon of some sorts! grown up in a hostile environment where the sole goal was To Win. there was little importance in personal happiness because it was all either to kill or to be killed. and he just grew tired of it yk? his hands only knew the warmth of blood and not the warmth of an another person. A dull and terrified view on life. He could only yearn to know how it is like to live normally without having to worry about being someone's next target.
and then there was someome who knew such happiness. a nameless girl, so full of life. just like him, she had no name from birth. Only a serial number. But yet. She was someone that had no worries like he did. Someone who Had So Much. stood right next to azrael. It felt unreal. Like a dream! A false scenario because surely! Surely that kind of bliss wasn't possible in his world! and yet. Yet. someone knew that feeling that he wished to knew the warmth of himself. Was right in front of his eyes. But he also was envious of her to some degree deep down. envious that she had what he yearned for his entire life while working with these bunch of assassin-esque people. but also!
it is very very safe to say that she meant Everything to him. Like how could she not? her attitude changed his worldview on such a fundamental level that azrael was. Fully convinced that he wouldn't be able to exist without the bright colors she intergrated into his life. spending all of his time with her. her happiness and optimisim was everything he needed. It (the whole relationship) wasn't even exactly anything to Her. like both of them very much saw each other as friends! but azrael meant something different by friends Me Thinks,, , , more like a person that he committed himself to.
"oh you are my friend and i am yours? okay then you have my devotion now. We are Friends and More Than Friends at the same time now :)" like they had something Very Intense and at the same time so one-sided. which is Unfortunate for azrael because! Wow my dude you trusted someone So Much you have let your guard down! Bad Choice my guy! because now it wasn't azrael who was the target. It was her. the nameless has been seen with him so many times that she was in danger because of him. and since he has let his guard down it led to. You know. Her death eventually happening.
the loss of the nameless girl not only broke azrael but changed his worldview once again. Because now he wasn't just apathetic to the entire world around him like he used to be before she appeared in his life, but he despised everything about the world. he was so jealous because now seemingly everyone had everything he had ever wanted! that source of happiness! something he had just mere moments ago! the warmth of blood on his hands coming back to haunt him!
It felt nauseating to see others have that joy. and in a series of overthinking it all, he came to the conclusion that. The others surrounding him have decided to keep happiness a secret from azrael. they were all on it. They knew what they were doing when she died. it is like they have purposefully taken the girl whom meant the world to azrael away from him! but of course how could he not see the truth that was displayed in front of his him this whole time!
coming to that conclusion utterly broke everything azrael knew and built it all anew. His envy was ever so clear to see. he knew that the people surrounding him wanted him to keep being envious of their joy. And so he just decided to ruin it all for them! after all. how come they get to have such happy moments while he has to be left behind in the dark, destroying his youth away for this constant cycle of death to keep going in circles on and on? it felt so utterly unfair to him. There was no use to continue doing what he always did when there wasn't a reason to keep doing it from the start besides living. and how could he live now without the person he treasured by his side?
in the end, his envy of others spiraled into a huge breakdown and caused him to go on a rampage. there were no exact names as his targets, only what his heart and shattered mind told him was the target. and that whole ordeal lead to quite a lot of deaths. ranging from people who at least were azrael's enemies from the past to some degree to innocent bystanders of the world who didn't know that azrael even existed
he found weird comfort in their deaths. Like "wow. i have finally gave in and destroyed what only worsened my misery and envy.. .," he kind of just, , did not feel sorry at all for the murders. even relishing in them in a ?. ? Way. but it all came back to stab him in the back. And Quite Literally too! that is what lead to his death and now his current state. being cursed and with the sin of envy being forever carved into him as a person, his jealously turned into pure venom. like Actually. he has venom running through his body, created from the purest desire for happiness. A man now destined to roam afterlife, forever seen as the pure embodiment of Consequences
so spiteful. so hateful at his very core. although he may be hiding it, but the Venom is present and is very obvious when you look closer into it! his only way to deal with this is to be distant from people. there is no reason to be conversing with the beings that once saw him as such a lowly being. azrael's way of thinking this through is just. Very confusing to say the least. he acted upon his desires but tries to rationalize them at the same time. trying to show that he doesn't care. No he doesn't care. . at least he is convinced so but Truly it is just ?.?? it is clampicated to describe for him. Or something
and now about kenix. Oh god This Dude Man. kenix is Incredibly Fuckjng Complicated as a person man. To start off, i will refer to him as his real name (Yi Dal) sometimes alright? kenix is Very Much a very deeply troubled guy that just represses such feelings. ever since he was born, he was in the dark. Metaphorically and kind of Literally?. since he was a child, he had the whole thing between him and his parents and just His family in general. which was Just Good Fucking Lord how much Inferior he felt to them. he was mostly, if not all the time, reduced to a "servant" for the family. which really contributed to him trying to seek value in himself through being useful to his family
obeying all the orders from his family? No questions asked, although it may hurt, he will at least get some attention. No matter positive or negative. he really just. didn't have a say in anything. for both of the parties, it is all just listening to what he is told to do. And his parents and siblings made that decision consciously. there was never any reason for him being neglected. not that kenix even knows of one! but it was like he was destined to be unacknowledged by them.
kenix was scared to take up space, because what if they find something to be angry about? Something to scold him for? Something to hit him for once again? he may be seeking attention but not in the form of being yelled at or having objects thrown at him. such treatment is still terrifying to him to this very day, a haunting memory at best. He genuinely felt like a little tiny being not deserving of attention with how obvious it was that his siblings were favored far more than him.his parents' treatment towards him made him think that he doesn't have the right to exist in this place without value or a purpose.
the neglect coming from his parents, the humiliation from his siblings. the embarrassment of being treated like a stranger whenever the family was in public. all of those factors reinforcing the idea that kenix is nothing of importance or relevance into his consciousness. kenix really just wanted to be free damnit.he yearned for it, he prayed for such salvation to come save him on a random day of his life but there was. No response as expected. he had never properly felt the warmth of the sun and freedom, only the cold air in his room at night. feels kind of suffocating in here, doesn't it? such a sheltered view on the world. It really is No wonder that kenix wished to escape this place. lacking social interaction and awareness of the outside world, , A shame, really
yi dal had been planning his escape from this god forsaken household for so So long, and he has finally been able to execute it when he was still a teen, about 17 years of age. An opportunity so perfect it truly felt unreal to him. An opportunity to finally feel the fresh air for himself forever and ever? you mean it you mean it you really mean it ?? <- deep down he was so Hopeful man. Man. the first time he was outside in nature by himself?? oh yeag. Yeag that felt like heaven that he himself couldn't believe in. feeling the grass beneath him, the light wind in his face, the chirping of the birds sitting on the trees. what else could he have possibly been missing out on? neither kenix or i know how he has survived about 16 years alone as a 17 years old guy with no social skills or concept of how the world really worked. he did make a fool out of himself but. He got the hang of it! Kind of! Normal social life was hard to get used to but!! ^_^
it truly was impossible for him to predict that at the age of 33, he would be found by his siblings and eventually tracked down, oblivious to what was planned for him. poor poor yi dal. only barely made to his early 30s and yet There It Is. Him laying on the floor, completely devoid of his ability to move his body. a small puddle of blood. Was it his blood? Was the blood of his brother he had manage to stab before being paralyzed? no reason to ponder that now, for he could only watch what was about to happen to him and. That was The Most amount of fear he had ever ever felt in his life. nothing could come close to how he felt when he saw his sister holding something in her hands, his brother following behind her. there were so so many things they could do. and it scared him on such a deep level that he didn't even know existed.
there he is now, a dead man walking and roaming the afterlife. the difference between him and azrael is that kenix acted upon his deepest desire only after he had been killed. the desire to avenge himself. to feel what it was like for his family. to be one of the higher-ups. To finally feel Superior. lusting for power in a way that breaks his morals (hence why this guy is assigned lust as his sin). a desire so strong it basically just Breaks Him Completely. In a way that leaves him so vulnerable that just. Makes him so easy to take advantage of. Disturbingly Too Easy. And that is exactly what fucking happens!!
"prometheus", or well, ephai is at fault here for that. no longer having a physical form, they saw a vessel so perfect in what was left of kenix. A soul that has been shattered into pieces since the start. Kind of. He needed just a little bit of a kick to fall over the edge and never come back to what he was. And they have seen it as an opportunity to prove the existence salvation to kenix. You Know. The guy that even fully gave up on religion and "salvation". And it worked of course it worked on kenix that Little Hopeless Thing— yeag. I could go on and on about kenix and prometheus but this is about azrael and kenix not these two's toxic relationship
prometheus is the key to kenix achieving his goals and in a moment of desperation. When he was offered a chance to avenge himself. To strike back at the people who degraded him the most. To feel in power. He didn't even hesitate to agree to the offer which lead to a little "contract" of some sort happening between them and that's just how kenix has been cursed. kind of like being oblivious to the fact that the salvation he was promised was a punishment in disguise. but it's not like he cares now.. . he has stolen fragments of powers from all kinds of divine beings, all for the sake of fulfilling his own wishes. trading his sanity for power. to the point of almost worshipping the one who has given him this opportunity and making ephai to be a divine entity
kenix himself though, is now more than just a god-like being. he is the flow of time himself. But Uh Oh! Bad News Motherfucker! You are Not Alone in this! because to keep existing like this, he had to take the body of an alternate timeline version of himself. Which just so happened to be the Yi Dal from the main cast's timeline. Who was already part of the main cast. And so essentially while taking over Ken's body, he had to replace him altogether unless they switch hosts. which kenix forbid to do because Good God he doesn't want ken to have anything Really. reasons that i'll get to later because Yeag ^_^ another problem is that prometheus is Also There with them. a third wheel or something so no you got 3 whole separate people in a singular body
so now kenix got himself stuck in a situation where he has to keep up a kind of play. Not pretending to be the version of himself he has replaced per se, but to always appear calm, continue to be soft-spoken and amicable with a formal attitude. because such etiquette and manners are what have enforced into his subconsciousness by his family while he was still living in that household. The manners that have been engraved into his mind by his own will. The facade of not caring about his surroundings. He destroyed his chances to live normally for the sake of his desire. so now kenix just has to pretend that everything is fine when really. Really. he never felt like a person, let alone an indepedent one. it is always him being the shadow of someone else and not seen as someone of his own. previously being the shadow of his siblings and now to be the shadow of ken because. Kenix is not perceived as his own self. Not that he has an identity really! But we will Also get to that later ^>^
now to finally talk about azranix together. their relationship had a pretty Rough start i'd say. Like it wasn't bad! But with azrael's decision to purposefully distance himself from others.., it was Hard for kenix to get closer to him without exactly going against his boundaries. Yes, he did pay attention to when he was getting far too close for azrael's comfort. for what reason did kenix even try to get closer to azrael? Well You See ^_^ he just wants to playfully mess with someone! No other reason! Just innocent little teasing that's all! but both of them have started to note. A lot of things about each other. with azrael's distrust, he was very wary of everything single move coming from kenix. And kenix well just. Tried to notice all the details there are about the person he pursued to know. pure curiosity if you could say that. to azrael there was always Something that was off about kenix and to kenix there was always Something about azrael that peaked his interest.
at the start with how used azrael was with seeing people as some sort of assholes trying to ridicule him, he looked at kenix with a bit of disdain. What if he was also one of such people? Why would he try to seek azrael out of all people? There is that sense of cautiousness that haunted him and his actions. and kenix ultimately decided to become a non-threat in azrael's eyes. otherwise how could he get such an interesting and peculiar person to trust him? to lose on such a great opportunity? no! he had to do it. He Had To. (no no it's not for any particular reason you see, it is just. .)
with every single encounter they have had, azrael just kind of like. Questioned everything about this guy! What Is His Problem! Why Is He Trying To Pry On Me! and so on. and with enough amount of times of them meeting each other in various places, azrael just went "fuck it, i'll try to get the answers to my questions straight from him" and such thinking led him to the Confrontation part. with his frustration present, he really just could not wrap his head around the fact that someone wants to know more about Him. that someone would even find Him interesting. he is trying so hard to avoid such relationships for the sake of himself and. Others to some degree. That an idea that someone once again would want to be a companion to him is just a Bizarre Concept. and kenix answered his questions, albeit not exactly. only a smile and "Wouldn't you want a friend yourself, in this place?"
which is exactly what was needed to crack azrael's front, even just a tiny bit. perhaps kenix was right. this place was Lonely. So Incredibly Lonely. maybe even reminiscent of azrael's past. and that made him realize just how much worse the situation was. to finally be aware of he had to stay here like this for hundreds of years, if not thousands. If not for all eternity. Destined to slowly disappear into thin air. with a few other people who are just like you by your side. a reminder that everything that could've saved you has Abandoned You. Even the divine above have abandoned you. A reminder that there is no one. And nothing. that is coming to save them. He is Alone. And Will Be Alone. his decision to distance from his only source of human interaction has always been a self-fulfilling prophecy of him swallowing his own venom. denying himself everything out of envy and hatred that is wallowing inside him. like a serpent on his shoulder. azrael is just a self-fulfilling prophecy of self-destructive at times that it is like Hey Dude. Please Don't Continue To Do That.
realizing just how fucked up everything in this situation is possibly may have made him just a tinyyy bit Desperate. more willing to finally open up to others a little. more accepting of letting people into his life. It is so fascinating that a single question from kenix is what managed to change his mind. azrael letting his guard down after so long! truly a miracle that we Cannot tell the aftermath of. and thus azrael has started to seek kenix out on purpose while still noting more things about him. Trying to figure him out like what kenix has been doing this whole time, you know? if kenix gets to pry on his life, then azrael might as well just do the same
it was a slow, slow way of actually getting to know each other at a deeper level because kenix. Like always. has tried to keep his past and his general life a secret. A mystery of some sorts. he wasn't really an enigma, azrael just. Never could figure out things about his family, his past life and what else has brought him here like the rest of the sinners. there were always moments about his story that he always left out on purpose. he never went into detailing anything he explained about himself. giving azrael only (mostly) surface level bits of information about himself. and azrael well, did much the same because he still felt that kenix shouldn't be trusted fully.
despite all that, azrael and kenix did manage to start bonding more! they both learned more about each other's story and felt. Sympathy for each other's struggles. as well as bonding over facing the same Horrors™ each day and they just had to learn to get through it together. To survive the troubles with each other by their side. learning more about each other through such dangerous encounters with the unknown things unable to be communicated with. having to find comfort in each other's presence if you understand what i'm trying to convey here. which then evolves into far more intimate moments being shared between them both where one helps the other with his problems and their opinions of each other turning into "ohh so we are one of the same to some degree. then i'll trust you more because i have seen you struggle with the same problems i have in the same way i do"
with the circumstances they were in, they got attached to each other's company Pretty Easily. considering how both of them severely lacked such companionship in their lives. it was a change of pace for the both of them For Sure. after years and years of being together, the trust they built in their relationship was Incomparable to anything else to be honest. they knew each other so so So long that it is now like both of them wouldn't be able to get anywhere without each other. they both had their own reasons for pursuing each other in this sense in specific but for kenix. it always was a desperate attempt for find someone to be there for him covered up as curiousity. kenix has always and Always followed orders his entire life, at first from his family now to listening to whatever prometheus whispers in his mind. his decisions always had this underlying tone of not being by free will. he does what he is told to do.
But trusting azrael and trying his best to be a trustworthy person in his eyes is the first decision that kenix has done by himself. It was his own free will which wanted to befriend azrael in specific. clinging onto him, knowing that azrael could be the one person to understand his troubles. kenix is very much aware of his fate being abruptly ended at some point and he knows that it will come soon. It is only a matter of time. following the orders of prometheus is the only way he can buy himself time to survive. Because he Needs to.
He must persist and keep living. he grasped at the concept of him being allowed to live only if he brings value to others for this long that. he just couldn't bear the thought of becoming Nothing if he wasn't anything of such value. seeking attention and validation through all means possible. all of his terrific actions had no reason other than desperation for recognition behind them. A villain who seemed to be enjoying all of this has only done this for the sake of surviving an another day.
Yet. every time kenix wanted to actually open up to azrael, it turns into a blockage in his throat. Unable to speak up, becoming a voiceless being of some sorts., , the reason being the fear of rejection in his soul. Kenix had to grasp at anything that would've given him a purpose. being prometheus's vessel was exactly done out of that desperation he wasn't even aware of. without the facade, kenix is No One. there is No One behind his carefully curated formal facade. Nothing but an incoherent mess. kenix lacks an identity. But the lack of it, then, is his identity: nothingness, absolute null. All of his emotions and feelings have always been repressed and they continue to be repressed even now. So no matter how hard he tries to differentiate himself from others, he'll end up being someone unintentionally because there is No Originality in him. And that is exactly how there is nothing about his real "self" that he thinks people would want to stay for.
with how much kenix has been repressing his emotions, discarding them and thinking of them as "fake" because he thinks that anything he felt emotionally is a lie. Because he built his whole self on a lie. A lie that he wanted this. he has now managed to lie to himself. thinking that the affection and love he holds for azrael is not real. That their bond is not real. That if he tried to show what he has been hiding behind his front for years, he would drive azrael away from him. When their relationship very much is real! kenix has no idea how to tell what was true and what was fake in him apart, so he just decided to think that everything he feels is a lie
yet. The repressed feelings, the suppressed emotions. They're all still there. Forming an incoherent mess inside of his mind and body. but even then without that mass of emotions, there is nothing else about kenix that is distinct. pure nothingness. and it Truly Scares him to even think of a scenario where azrael finds out what hollow husk of a man kenix is beneath his facade. The fear that azrael would be disgusted. That he would see him as a lowly creature. so kenix can never be truly honest about himself with azrael out of fear that the only person who understood him will leave. he tries to be so careful when talking to azrael lest he would let something about him slip. he can't just lose someone him, no.
but azrael is patient with him, he always has been. he shall wait all the needed time until kenix finally gathers the courage. he may not know what kenix has been meaning to tell him this entire time, but he can see his attempts ever so clearly. kenix is trying his best and azrael wants to make sure that kenix knows that it's alright. azrael may not be an overly kind and positive person but. If it means that someone who needs to be reassured will hear it. Well then. . . yet kenix could never be able to wrap his head around how that could be true. because of how much he was used to the lie he convinced himself with. he has told himself the same thing over and over again so many times that finally being told the opposite truth is just Shocking to him. the fact that someone doesn't want him for his value but for who he is a person
to bring back a previous point, kenix's problem with ken too, is just how much ken makes kenix realize that he is the extra one of the two. Ken had a normal life, he had a normal family, he had everything, ken had it all !. and kenix had nothing to himself. All of it - stolen. it is not even his own physical body, but the body of the original. he is perceived as someone else, he is not distinct from that someone at all in the eyes of others. despite all of his attempts to show himself as an independent person, he will forever be considered. A shadow of someone else. a shadow of the original and it pains him. and now azrael and the other sinners are the only people to ever treat kenix like a person. not like he is somebody else. But his own self. And he couldn't be more grateful that they do. That Azrael Does.
yet he can't be honest. No. No that would destroy everything he has built. everything he has worked for. but the desire. The wish to stay true to the only person he ever would consider being honest with. it has only grown stronger. The reason why he hasn't managed to tell azrael anything is solely because kenix simply felt like it wasn't the time. it will never be the time. so his one and only option was to finally tell azrael his real name. Yi Dal. although it doesn't seem like much, azrael understood the importance of this to kenix. from connecting the pieces of kenix's past story from everything he has ever told him, he could figure out that kenix only has bad associations with his real name regarding his past.
maybe. Just maybe. he could change his view on his real name, the same way kenix changed his view on his surroundings. To become the positive association that is worth remembering whenever kenix is referred by his real name. To be that something to look back at fondly.
And then the Creature™ phases come around with each of them turning into some sorts of fucken beasts ^_^. the cursed forms that in all shapes and forms represent their desires and their inner selves. for each sinner and other curse bearers, these forms are different. but for azrael and kenix.
azrael's form is completely unable to speak in full sentences. it barely speaks Actually. seeming to be straight-forward but it only just shows how azrael was not able to speak out what he thought. he was all action and no talk. which is exactly how his rampage started. he only came to conclusions from so much overthinking and hasn't tried to communicate with anyone. he just thought ot everyone as a traitor and shallow people. it really highlighted just how much he trusted his jealousy and envy rather than confirming things for himself
yet the creature seemed. More over fine with kenix's presence. Like he wasn't just a little friendly being to him! he still lashed out and acted irrationally because this form reflected on azrael's loses and overthinking that jumps straight into conclusions! but he still acted less aggressive with kenix. he didn't need to overthink his actions because of the trust he has in kenix. a bond that was stronger than the envy whispering all sorts of things into his ears. He Knows that he doesn't have to doubt him. yet he is Stuck in this box. a labyrinth of constant hesitation to Trust not only others but himself too. he wishes to free himself from such shackles but it is hard. it has always been hard to let go and change his mindset when it always was his only defense mechanism from being hurt. all of these struggles shaping themselves as a scorpion, a serpent, a venomous creature. something that symbolizes hidden danger. and yet, kenix has found beauty and something to love in such a devasting depiction of his partner. the purest way to show what he truly felt. how much he just hid this somewhere inside of himself. something that he couldn't help but feel pity for
and kenix shall do anything to prove that even then. it's going to be okay. he knows it's okay. azrael has always told him it is alright to feel like this, so surely he meant it for everyone? all struggles will pass eventually and you'll become stronger than ever, that's what azrael has told him a long time ago. even if kenix doesn't see a future for himself, he wants to make that promising future for his only love. To help him become resilient Together. He knows that azrael can do it, he had been through so much. he know he could get through this as well and break free from the curse.
and as for kenix's cursed form and the overrall story it is. So much more .? ?. his cursed form is much more bizarre compared to others. a constant variation of geometrical shapes and other possible physical forms, emiting a some sort of glow. He has lost all of his human characteristics. The true form of his self. the mass of emotions and feelings that have been repressed for decades, even centuries, has finally spilled over. creating a mess out of himself. A fool now no longer bound to a facade but is now letting all of that anguish out. so much madness, frustration and sorrow suppressed in him that is now out in the open for everyone to see. a being no longer able to communicate, for he has turned into something that is only capable of Wails. Sobs out loud. Muffled screams of agony. so many emotions he had yet to properly address yet that it is all coming in as an overwhelming wave of terror. he can no longer hide himself beside a neatly made front
a seemingly unapologetic "villain" reduced to a sorrowful creature. a being so clearly desperate for freedom. to know who he is. to finally be free from these principles chaining him to a life of silence until his death. he feels that his demise is coming soon. and he can't do anything about it. for now he can only be a hostile monster. a vessel, a prophet for prometheus's salvation. because this was planned to be his end a long long time ago. this was his purpose. his only value. once this is done, he will be gone for too. finishing his duty, being allowed rest. despite how much he yearns to keep living. but kenix has always been about acceptance. acceptance of his fate. This Miserable Fate
yet azrael found himself only feeling sympathy, for this was the moment that he has finally learned about his partner's true feelings. and it hurt to hear someone so important and dear to him wallow in pain and anguish like that. that version of kenix was a hostile being, but he still so clearly needed help. he needed the courage to overcome this. to break free from prometheus's influence over everything he did because he never had confidence in such actions. and azrael wanted to help with just that despite their current barrier where they cannot understand one another. just like kenix helped him, he wanted to help kenix create his own future to look forward to. without death. with azrael by his side. to survive. to keep living just like kenix desired to this whole time.
the end of their chapters as cursed beings meant that the both of them could finally experience relief together. a moment of Bliss. the realization that it is over. they get to exist, unshackled from the burdens that once plagued their minds. a possibility for salvation. a chance to live without being bound to their past or their inner desires. just peace and tranquility, their one true wish
But Uh Oh! Bad News Motherfuckers! Y'all forgot this shit was a death timeloop! With how i previously mentioned that the actual protagonist of the story, Yaku, has started a timeloop rooted in the desire of saving what meant the world to him that was dying at the end of the journey. The same kind of important people who cruelly had their lives cut short. And The only other character aware of this timeloop was well. Kenix! with this sudden ending of lives for most of the casts, azrael had also became a victim to these abrupt endings.
having to witness his love's life fade away before his eyes, it is only natural for kenix to also be shocked at the situation that yaku is also stuck in. and this scenario is exactly how yaku became the last one to be cursed, his curse rooted in his one biggest desire. a selfish deed covered up as an act of selflessness. their timelines' restarting, the flow of time now looping on and on until yaku manages to save everyone from these deaths
kenix had no control over this, he was forced to watch the protagonist and his nephew descend into madness over a singular goal. while also having to relive his entire life over and over again. a cycle of misery for everyone involved. the others would never be able to realize that this was a timeloop, so the first and the original time they had done this. Has became their script. that everyone, including kenix, had to follow until the end
of course in the first few loops, kenix had also tried to do everything in his power to ensure that his friends. that azrael. would be safe from their gruesome demise. yet their endings had already been written as part of the unchangeable fate by the forces above. neither kenix or yaku had a chance at succeeding. despite kenix's own attempts to save his partner, there was nothing he could do. he could only Watch how his impending doom was slowly getting closer
it was Painful. he could see azrael, he feel him, talk to him, interact with him in general just like normal. yet it wasn't him. no that could never be azrael ever again. that azrael felt surreal. abnormal. like he was programmed beforehand. there was nothing new about him and he felt so Off. Because kenix was aware that this is just the repeating of their original story. it's like he talked to someone playing pretend. his original feeling of "this doesn't feel real (positive)" when he first met azrael has turned into "this doesn't feel real. (derogatory)" kind of feeling. seeing azrael like this was just tormenting. a painful reminder that he will, one day, leave him not by will. and kenix will have to learn to live without him
to live without the person who had shown him love and how to love for the first time ever. a someone who had changed the course of his life so much. brought down what kenix had thought of the world and built it anew. keeping his silence about the truth because now. it was the only the thing that he could never ever tell azrael. what he had seen that day. None of it. for his sake.
perhaps, if they had never met here. if they had met at a different time.
In short, they are so fucking Doomed.
smth smth. Yeag. Good Fucking Lord They Make Me Sick
#there are so so many things kenix wants to tell azrael. yet that fear lingering in his heart that becomes the obstacle in his throat.#kenix is scared of rejection by the only person he loved but azrael never would reject him in the first place.#azrael had always been a guide to him in the situations that seemed like they had no way out of.#knowing that he always had someone to rely on. someone to come back to and greet kenix with open arms.#while kenix was something else for azrael. That someone that brought joy to his life. Like the nameless girl.#azrael will always seek out kenix. he'll find him through any means possible. to make sure that he's safe#he doesn't want to repeat his reckless mistake after all.#this is not even talking about how they both take care of the same 12 yr old girl (sora) who is part of the sins crew#essentially becoming her parents. growing even closer to each other#this whole thing is why i like the idea azrael and 2nd main story arc kenix interacting.#kenix in a far better state of mind still grieving the loss of his beloved people. getting to see that one special someone again#a bittersweet thought.#however. kenix would no longer ever seek that kind of love with someone else. what he had with azrael Was Special#forever immortalizing it by keeping azrael's ring he had gifted him and remembering his partner.#to find someone else is to betray his only love. And he could never bear the thought of having to live with that#azrael may have been deleted from this reality with no one else to remember him. But kenix will forever keep him in his heart#perhaps if things were different. they could still be writing their next chapter together.#but i guess there's no point in lamenting about that now Huh?#okay but actually. CRYING AND SOBBIJG AND POINTING AT THEM. GOD THEY MAKE ME SO SAD.#“they had such a close bond that they meant everything to each other” “yeah idk man They're So Fucking Gay For Each Other”#yomo ocs?!#yomoart#ocs#kenix#azrael
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when none of the DC friends are online right now so I'm just crying about Guy Gardner by myself-
#Madi rambles#HE MAKES ME SAD SO SAD#do I have gripes with N52? yes- so many- especially for Diana's wonder woman run that was a shitshow#but so far the GL corps (while I have a few issues with it) has been hurting me with Guy's characterization#in both good and negative ways but mostly in the way that the guardians are trying to tell him that they see value in him and that he's bee#overlooked by all the other earth lanterns and he just laughs at them cause he's really still expecting to be reprimanded for something-#Like he doesn't know that the Guardians are lying to his face and toying with him to get him gone from the corps so they can continue their#rise of the third army plan WHICH IS A WHOLE THING AND GUY ENDS UP IN JAIL ON EARTH IT'S A WHOLE THING THAT'S SO MENTIONED IN MY RISE OF TH#THIRD ARMY RECAP DOC TRUST#But Guy doesn't know that right now! He is just laughing because he thinks they're screwing with him just on the general basis that he neve#seems to do anything right in this corps#Like even with arguing with Saalak he said “Trusting Sinestro to do the right thing's like trusting me not to do the wrong thing!” LIKE OW?#Just oh his characterization makes me sad this is a man who has been overlooked again and again and doesn't believe anyone would ever think#he did the right thing and has come to terms with that and HE MAKES ME SAD GUY GARDNER YOU MAKE ME SAD#and don't get me started about how they changed basically ALL of Guy's lore when they rebooted to the N52 like it's actually insane
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